Only His
by Hisagilover69
Summary: He didn't make it in time to save you, now he was going to do anything he had to to be with you, even if it cost him his life. -Alternate Ending to What Lies Behind Her Smile- Cloud/Reader


I'm **_so _**sorry this took so long! I completely forgot to post! Well, here it is. I hope you enjoy it. Again, I'm sorry for th time it too ;;;;;

~*~

Cloud found himself staring out his window at the moon again. Seeing as sleep never came to him after **(Y/N)** left, he did this often. Reeve hasn't found anything through the WRO and Cid and Barret are still looking at the Icicle inn.

Cloud looked away from the moon and sat up. He had decided a little while ago that he'd go out on Fenrir and search for her himself tomorrow morning. He just couldn't stand sitting there and waiting anymore.

He broke out of his thoughts when he heard footsteps going past his door and down the stairs. Getting up, Cloud walked to his door and looked out into the hallway. Glancing down the stairs, he saw Tifa turn the corner to go behind the bar. Curious, Cloud closed his door and went down to see what she was doing. He was surprised to find her cleaning dishes.

"Tifa?" Tifa looked up at him before going back to her dishes. Cloud stood there for a minute before walking over to the bar and sitting down on the chair in front of her. They never said anything, but Cloud started to worry when she silently began to cry.

"Tifa, why are you crying?" Tifa didn't answer, but she did wipe away her tears. Cloud sighed and glared down at his hands, just feeling so god damn useless.

"She told us not to cry, but look at me, bawling my eyes out." Tifa said chuckling softly.

"Don't worry Tifa, we'll find her." He told her reassuringly.

"....not in time though." Cloud looked up at her in surprise, but Tifa was staring down at the glass in her hands, refusing to make eye contact.

"...Tifa?"

"Do you know why she smiled all the time? Even when you guys treated her badly and yelled at her?" Cloud didn't know how to answer to that.

"She hid everything behind a smile, something I was never able to do." Tifa smiled sadly as she continued. "She hid all her pain and sadness. I don't see how she did it, honestly. Oh god, so much pain..."

She set the glass down and walked around the counter before sitting down on the seat next to Cloud. She remained silent for a couple of minutes, but Cloud didn't break it.

"She had Geostigma, you know." Tifa confessed.

"What?"

"She didn't tell us until it was too painful to hide on her own." Tifa stared down at her hands as she spoke. "Cloud.....I've never seen it that bad. It covered her entire arm, wrist to shoulder." Cloud stared at her in shocked disbelief. Geostigma? Her entire arm? Cloud thought back finding that that would explain why she would just wince out of no where and drop an endless number of things.

"Why didn't she say something?" Cloud asked almost angry at the missing girl for not telling him.

"She didn't want us to worry." Tifa explained and Cloud felt whatever traces of anger he had in him die away. **(Y/N)** wasn't one to show her pain to others, even he knew that.

"Why didn't she go to the church?" Cloud asked suddenly remembering Aeris's water.

"I don't know. We planned to go the day after your birthday. But then....." She said shaking her head sadly. "We all heard what you told her, Cloud, for her to just go die somewhere. So that's what she's doing now. She's dying Cloud. She thought that since you and the others didn't want her here, she would leave to make you happy." Tifa said and covered her eyes so cloud wouldn't see the tears coming up. "On the night that she left, she left us a letter telling us that...that from that night she had maybe 3 weeks to live at the most and that she could die from it anytime. She could be dead now and we wouldn't even know."

Tifa let out a sob and apologized to Cloud as she turned away from him to compose herself. Cloud sat there wide-eyed as he slowly reached up to clutch the fabric of his shirt that lay above his heart. Just at the possibility of her being dead Cloud felt his heart throb painfully in his chest. And he found the longer he sat there, the more that pain grew.

Tifa finally sniffed and turned back around to face the counter. She paused to think of what she could say next, but shook her head. She decided to just be blunt with it.

"Red saw her before she left, he didn't try to stop her, and he knew he couldn't have done anything to change her mind. He knows where she is, but he won't tell us. She made him promise to keep us from going after her and not to cry. So much for that though." She paused to sniff and wipe away the last of the stray tears. "He told me that she smiled the entire time as she talked to him. It just about killed him when he watched her go."

Cloud mentally swore and gripped his shirt so tight he could feel his blunt finger nails digging into his hand through the fabric. Red would never tell him. He and **(Y/N)** were too close for him to go against her wishes of their happiness like that. This was all his fault. He should have never said any of those things and he should've just opened the damned present! Cloud could now feel the nails against his skin. _God Damn it._

"She loved you, Cloud." Tifa said smiling softly. Cloud felt his grip on his shirt slacken as his hand went limp and he slowly looked over at Tifa in shock.

_**What?**_

"That's why she aggravated you all that time, to get your attention."

She _loved_ him? If he thought the feeling in his chest was painful before, it was just down right unbearable now.

"Why?" Cloud managed to choke out.

"Why did she try to get your attention? Well...after the battle with Sephiroth was finished you, uh..." Tifa scrunched her eyebrows together to find the right words, but eventually gave up and decided to be blunt again. "You acted as if she didn't exist, Cloud. When she tried to speak with you, you walked away. If she tried to help you with anything, you would brush her aside and ignore her being there. To her, that hurt worse than any wound she would ever have."

'_I....I really...?_' Cloud thought, desperately trying to remember the time being mentioned.

"It's amazing how many things she did for you without you knowing she did it....." Tifa said smiling in admiration.

"Like what?"

"Remember during the battles with Kadaj and the others? You saw Aeris a couple times didn't you?" Tifa asked earning herself a nod. "Do you remember how you did it?" Cloud shook his head no.

"**(Y/N)** did it. She knew you would be happy and that it would help if you spoke with Aeris, so she used her ability to link you to Aeris. She even did it when we were all in the church after the battle ended." She explained.

Cloud stood up and walked over to one of the windows behind him, unable to talk about this any longer. As he stared out into the street he wondered, what else did she do for him and never expected acknowledgement?

Tifa watched Cloud stand in thought for a minute before she got up from her seat. Walking around the counter she bent down and moved over a couple bottles to reveal the hidden blue box that she and Marlene had held onto. Gently holding it to her chest, Tifa walked back around the counter and stood behind Cloud.

"Here"

Cloud turned to see her holding out the small blue package. "She left it here, so I think she still wanted you to have it." Tifa smiled and placed the parcel in his hands. Cloud stared down at the box and felt his stomach flip over.

"It's okay Cloud. She's probably happy with Aeris and Zack now. A-and it's not like we won't see her again. She just....returned to the planet." Tifa managed to smile softly before she turned and quickly disappeared up the stairs.

Cloud stood there alone for a couple minutes before he went back up the stairs himself. When he got to his room he shut the door and placed the box on the bed before sitting down beside it. After just staring at it for what felt like forever, Cloud finally picked the box and began to unwrap it.

As soon as he pulled it out of the box, Cloud felt his heart jump up to his throat. He stared down at the crystal as he carefully turned it from side to side, admiring the piece of art. As he held it so that the sword and the rose were staring up at him, he read the inscription along the bottom edge.

_Zack and Aeris: Embrace Your Dreams_

Out of the corner of his eyes, Cloud saw a slip of paper fall to the ground from the box. Picking it up, he immediately knew it to be **(Y/N)**'s handwriting.

_I figured this would be easier to look at than the memories. Make sure you keep it in sight so you don't dilly dally all day long!__  
_

_Love, __  
_

_  
__(Y/N) _

Cloud felt a slight rumble in his chest, and he wondered what it was until he heard himself chuckling. As he listened to himself laugh, he saw a drop of water land on the crystal. The one drop became two, and the two grew into more than he could count. His chuckling turned into silent sobs as he clutched both the crystal and the paper to his chest.

The impact of Tifa's words finally hit him as he silently rocked himself back and forth on the bed. He wanted her here. He wanted her _now_. He wanted to see her _alive. __  
_

Cloud pulled the paper away from his chest and stared at it watery eyed.

_He wanted to tell her he loved her too.__  
_

But now...he lost his chance. He missed the opportunity. He was so focused on everything else he didn't get the chance to see her truly smiling at him instead of her hiding herself behind one. Now she was off to see...to see...

Cloud's head shot up in realization as everything ran through his head. Aeris and Zack...old friends...

He quickly jumped off the bed and carefully placed the crystal and the paper on the night stand before scrambling out of his room as fast as his legs could carry him. Upon hearing the door slam open, Red looked up from his spot on the bed and stared at Cloud in confusion.

"She's at the Forgotten City, isn't she!?"

Cloud had never seen such relief ever seep into his furry companion's so quickly. Red XIII gave one nod and that was all Cloud needed before he disappeared from Red's sight. Running down the stairs and out the door to the small garage behind the bar where he kept Fenrir, Cloud pulled his keys out of his pocket. And without a second lost, the bike roared to life before racing down the street.

~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"S-shit!"

You fell to the ground as you desperately gasped for breath, finding it getting harder to breathe. You grasped your arm tightly, writhing in pain amongst the glowing trees. You clamped your eyes shut to keep yourself from screaming, the task proving far harder than you anticipated. They shot back open as you rolled over and onto your knees before leaning forward to empty the blood that was gathering in your mouth. When you finished, you were gasping for air again as the pain continued.

Several long, agonizing minutes later you sat gasping against a tree, recuperating from the attack. You gulped down some air before looking down at your arm. That was the longest attack that you've had yet. You took another gulp of air before leaning your head back to rest against the tree. Gods, this had been going on all day and you didn't think your body could handle it anymore. You smiled and laughed shakily before quieting down.

'_So…this is it, huh?_ you thought wearily. You chuckled again before opening your eyes and looking up through the branches to the sky. You really shouldn't be thinking about it that much; you had to save your strength. You looked down at you body and wondered…_what strength?_ You were all but spent; your body slowly beginning to shut down with each passing minute. You looked up and smiled at the sky again. On the up side, this just meant that you wouldn't have to be in pain anymore!

You sighed and slowly forced yourself to stand. You managed to do it with the help of the tree, but yours legs started to wobble at the effort to hold yourself up. You glared at the weak limbs before taking a heavy step forward. Your going was slow, but you were heading back to the lake. You wanted to be there when you died; you thought the idea was fitting. You smiled when you caught sight of the water sparkling in the moonlight. You moved to go straight to the water's edge, but you didn't make it; you tripped about 30 ft away.

You lifted your head up off the ground and stared at the water ahead. You laughed before rolling yourself onto your back, not having the strength to do much else. You stared up at the sky again and wondered how everybody was.

Were all the guys happy? You hoped so.

Tifa, Yuffie, Red, and the kids were probably sad, but they'll move on. All of them have strong hearts, they'll pull through.

Cloud…?

You smiled and closed your eyes. You only wished that you had the chance to tell him how you really felt. You wished you could apologize. You wished that you could've said goodbye. You chuckled as your arm slowly began to burn; a sign that another attack was about to hit. This was it…after this there would be nothing left to keep you from fading away. You smiled as silent tears began to fall from your eyes.

'_Here we go…_'

The pain began to increase quickly, spreading from your fingertips and up to your shoulder before spreading through the rest of you body. Your breathing became irregular and you braced yourself for the wave you knew was coming. Your defenses didn't hold.

Your eyes widened and you screamed as pain ripped through your body. You tossed around wildly unable to take this new level of pain. You screamed again as the never ending tears cascaded down your cheeks. You gasped as a horrible pain far worse than the one you just experienced ripped through your chest. You couldn't breathe. You gasped for air, each breath bringing another wave of pain.

You don't know how long you lay writhing on the ground, all that registered in your mind was nothing but sheer pain and suffering. After what seemed like an eternity, a burning pain pooled in your gut before making its way up to your throat. You gagged once as you somehow managed to get yourself onto your knees and held a hand to your throat and the other to your mouth. You gagged again before leaning forward and retching out a large amount of blood. You managed to catch your breath for moment before leaning down again and heaving out more blood.

Through your pain you heard something strange to your left. As you kneeled on the ground, hunched over your puddle of blood, you watched in confusion as something black quickly made its way in your direction. It stopped a short distance away and your eyes widened as Cloud scrambled off. As he called your name, you faced away from him to let out another gush of blood. Thankfully, the pain in your stomach died away, leaving you with only the original pain. You sucked in a shaky gasp and clutched your chest as pain flew through you again. _Gods…when was this going to stop?_

Cloud fell down beside you and pulled you to his chest, holding you tightly as you let out another scream of pain.

And…that was it.

You went still and lay there panting as the pain began to recede ever so slowly until it was gone. After a moment, Cloud pulled you back to look down at you. You blinked a couple times to make sure that this wasn't a hallucination brought on by the pain.

"Cl…Cloud?" The blonde nodded quickly, too horrified to say anything. You gave him a shaky smile before closing your eyes and continuing to pant. You opened your eyes again when you felt something drip on your cheek. You smile faded.

"Cloud…why are you…crying?" He didn't answer, but the tears continued to flow down his pale cheeks. You smiled as you felt your strength slipping away. You didn't know how much longer you could hold out.

"C-Cloud…I-I'm sorr-," you started, but he held you tighter and shook his head harshly.

"No! I'm the one who's sorry!" he cried. You looked up at him in confusion. "I didn't mean it! I never should have been so cruel! I'm sorry!"

"What…are you…talking…about?"

"Tifa told me everything," he explained. You let out a little chuckle. So, he knows then, huh? Well, that saves you some trouble. "I'm sorry."

"Silly," you said. "I'm the one…who should apologize…" You looked off to the side as your vision began to blur. Cloud saw the color drain from your face and turned your head for you to look at him. You smiled up at him.

"Come on, I'm getting you out of here!" He went to lift you up, but he froze when you grabbed his arm weakly. He looked down at you and felt his heart skip a beat. You were shaking your head.

"No."

"But I have to-" You stopped him by putting a finger to his lips.

"I won't make it, Cloud. I know you can see it…" you told him. Cloud shook his head as the tears come in faster streams. You licked your lips before taking a deep breath. "Cloud…I have to tell you…I lo…I lov..." Tears slipped down your cheeks when you found the words lodged in your throat. Cloud bent down and pressed his forehead down to yours and squeezed his eyes shut.

"I know! I know!" He sobbed out as his body shook. "I love you too!" You blinked before smiling and leaning against his forehead weakly.

"That's…nice to know…" You felt tears of joy leak from your eyes as the warmest sensation moved through your veins. You pulled back and pressed your lips to his forehead weakly before smiling up at him. You blinked once, feeling your heart beat too slowly for your body. You felt the rest of your body go numb as you smiled up at him one last time.

"I love you…Cloud."

You fell back into Cloud's arms, a content smile on your face. Cloud let out a sob before pulling you to his body and letting out a mournful scream.

You were gone.

Cloud took a deep breath and let out another scream, unable to get rid of the pain inside. He rocked back and forth cradling your body to his as he finally got the impact. You were dead.

_Dead_

He pulled back and stared down at your smiling face and felt a fresh batch of tears stream down his cheeks. He brought his hand to your face and cupped it to your cheek. He shook your body gently, though he knew it was futile. He shook you again and your head fell limply into the crook of his arm. He let out another sob before leaning down and putting his forehead to yours.

"I love you! I love you!" He sobbed and shaking his head. He held you tighter before throwing his head up and letting out another wail.

After several long minutes, Cloud sat up straight before slowly standing up and bringing your body to the water's edge. He sat down with you in his arms and cradled your head to his neck. He would stay until you until the end; until you faded away to rejoin the planet.

He didn't know how long he sat there rocking your body back and forth, but he felt sorrow wash through him as he watched the first signs of dawn appear through the trees. He pulled you away from him and stared down at you for the longest time as he felt the tears appear again. He reached up and began to stroke your cheek as his tears began to drip down his chin. He glanced back at the dawn before looking down at your body. His eyes widened as he realized that you were getting lighter.

Cloud shook his head wildly before leaning down and pressing his lips to yours. He held your body as close to him as he could, not wanting to give you up to the planet. He pressed a little harder as he felt you begin to fade away. He pulled back and cradled your face to his one last time. "I love you…"

Then he watched as your still smiling face faded from his arms in a small flurry of green particles. He felt his arms drop to his lap and he looked up to the sky as the green began to disappear into the morning sky.

*~*~*~*~*~

You were…very cold.

You scrunched your eyes together before opening them slowly. You were lying on your back suspended in the whiteness around you. You smiled and closed your eyes, mentally chuckling to yourself.

"_**(Y/N)**_."

You smiled again and opened your eyes as you felt the air around growing warmer. Above you, you could see a pair of hands coming towards you out of the white. You giggled at the tingling sensation the warmth brought and lifted your hands out to the others. You felt tears slip down your cheeks as you grasped the hands and let your self be pulled into the warmth.

"_Aeris, Zack, I'm here!_"

*~*~*~*~*~

Tifa and the rest of the Avalanche members sat quietly in the bar, waiting for some sign from Cloud. Red had woken everyone the minute Cloud was out the door to announce that the blonde had figured it out. In the two days that had passed, only the kids managed to fall into dreamless sleep. Tifa sat on one of the stools staring at the door intently, waiting for Cloud to come home. She clenched her fists as she looked at the clock once again. She hoped that everything was all right.

Tifa ripped her gaze away from the clock at the sound of heavy boots coming up towards the door. As they grabbed the handle, she scrambled off her chair and stumbled a few steps towards the door. As the door slowly opened, she allowed herself to hope only for a moment. That was the cause of her downfall.

Cloud stepped through the door and looked up at the hopeful faces of all those who had stood at his presence. Tifa stared at him for a second before shaking her head wildly and stepping backwards. She let out a wail and fell to her knees, continuing to shake her head roughly in her hands. Cloud looked away as the cries from the others reached his ears.

Cid slammed his arms onto the table before grabbing his head and resting his forehead on the table as the tears began to appear. Reeve sat at another table his head buried in his arms as his shoulders shuddered from the force of his tears. Marlene and Denzel were sobbing in Barrett's arms as he held them to him, crying as well. Yuffie was clinging to Vincent, drowning her sobs into his cloak as he stared off silently as a few tears escaped his eyes. Tifa lay in the middle of the floor, hugging herself and rocking back and forth as she let out painful wails. Red just sat there staring at Cloud as tears ran down his furry cheeks, finding that he had allowed himself hope and shatter his resolve.

Cloud clenched his fists as he felt the tears stream down his face again and drip onto the floor. He glared at the floor venomously before storming out of the bar. Taking Fenrir, he rode into the ruined city behind edge. He came to a stop before the church and deposited his bike before walking off into the darkness. After a long while he found what he had been searching for.

The group of monsters looked towards the blonde before slowly stalking towards him, intent on making a meal out of him. Cloud reached back for his sword and slowly pulled it out of it's holder as he felt all his emotions build up inside him. As he raised his sword the monsters froze at the ferocity of his gaze and cowered back as he let out a growl and charged.

All through the day, never stopping, he ripped and slashed anything that moved into ribbons. When he finally slumped to the ground he realized that the sun was beginning to set behind the broken Shinra building before him. He looked down and slammed his fist into the ground as he felt tears swelling in his eyes. The few remaining monsters in the area shrunk back into the shadows as the blonde lifted his head and let out a yell that echoed throughout the ruins. The yell faded until it was reduced to nothing but sobs as Cloud hugged himself and continued to mourn for his love.

*~*~*~*~*~

Tifa stared out the window and scowled as she got Cloud's answering machine again. She sighed and looked away from the window. "Cloud, it's been three weeks, please come home." She hung up after the short message and tossed the phone back onto the desk. It's been three weeks since Cloud came home without **(Y/N)** and everyone was slowly beginning to move on, except Cloud. Everyday since then, he's been staying at the church, never answering his phone, always silent when she went to visit.

Tifa bit her lip and clenched his fists before turning on her heel and quickly leaving the room. She paused in the hallway and glanced down at the room at the end of the hall before slowly making her way to the door. She stared at it for a moment before slowly opening it and stepping into the quiet room. They decided to leave her room the way it was before she died; it was still too painful to touch anything. Tifa made her way to the bed and ran her fingers over the covers as she stared out the window. After a moment, she lowered herself to her knees and laced her fingers on the covers. She closed her eyes and buried her face in the covers, not wanting to cry when she did this.

"**(Y/N)**?" She felt silly doing this, but it was the only thing she could think of. "Please, bring Cloud home. I don't…I'm…I'm afraid that if he doesn't come back now he won't ever come back." She felt the tears seep into the covers despite her best efforts. She sniffled and unlaced her fingers to grip the bed covers. "I just…I-I don't want to lose him like I lost you!"

She gasped and shot her head up as she felt a small hand rest itself on her head comfortingly. She spun around, hoping to see **(Y/N)**, but no one was there. She sat there in silence before letting out a sob and hugging her knees to her chest. She continued to sob as she heard a soft sigh from in front of her.

"_Silly_…" She didn't react this time when she felt the hand on one of her clenched ones. "_Don't worry; I'll take care of things…_"

Tifa let out another sob and looked at the empty space before her as the voice disappeared. She slowly let a smile creep onto her face as the tears still continued to flow.

"Thank you…"

*~*~*~*~*~

Cloud stood silently upon the cliff overlooking the city, Zack's sword before him. He stared at his friend's weapon for a moment before reaching back and thrusting a long black pole into the earth beside the buster sword. He had gone back for her weapon; he wanted it to be there with Zack's so that he would always have a piece of her.

He let go of the pole and stepped back staring at the two items before looking away and walking back towards Fenrir. He rode back to the church silently, willing himself not to think of her, of her death. He pulled up in front of the church and turned the bike off before walking into the church. Even though he knew that all the others were worried about him, he couldn't bring himself to return to the bar. The memories were still too fresh, too painful, for him to deal with. As the light from the broken ceiling washed over him, he looked up towards the water.

He stood there in shock for a moment before stumbling back and fumbling for words. You looked up from running your hand through the water and smiled at him sadly.

"_Hey._" Cloud stared at you wide-eyed as you stood up and dried your hand on your shirt. Once you finished you turned and faced him fully, giving him a smile. "_Long time no see._"

He blinked before taking a small step forward. He lifted his hand and slowly reached out until his gloved fingertips brushed your cheeks. You blinked as he slowly moved his hand to move through your hair to the back of your head. Once there, he pulled you to him and crushed your small body against his. You smiled before reaching up and holding him tightly.

"Why are you…Why did you come back?" he questioned, resting his forehead on your shoulder. You smiled sadly before playing with one of his spikes.

"_You have to go back, Cloud_" His head shot up and he pulled back just enough so he could see your face.

"What?"

"_Everyone is waiting, silly,_" you explained smiling at him gently. "_You have to go back; you can't stay here forever._" Cloud shook his head and leaned down to rest his forehead against yours as he shut his eyes tightly.

"I can't."

"_Dilly dally, shilly shally…_" You lifted your hand and cupped his cheek gently. "_You can do this Cloud, I know you can._" Cloud opened his eyes and looked down into your calm ones. He looked away after a couple moments, unable to hold your gaze. You sighed and shook your head before pulling his head to rest back on your shoulder.

"_What am I going to do with you?_"

'_Take me with you…_' is what he wanted to say, but he realized that if he ever said such a thing, you would never come back to him like this ever again. As he tightened his grip on you, he heard you sigh.

"_Cloud, promise me you'll go back,_" you said, gently running your fingers through his hair. Cloud froze and refused to move. You scowled and pulled him away from you. You looked up at him sternly and forced him to look at you. "_Promise me._" Cloud shoved himself away from you and stumbled a few steps away before turning and allowing himself to sink onto the floor. With his back to you, he held his knees loosely in his arms and lowered his head.

"Fine…I promise," he promised quietly. You watched him in silence for a moment before smiling sadly and walking over to him. Carefully, you knelt down and wrapped your arms around his shoulder tightly. He made no other movement except to lean his head to rest against your own. You smiled and held him tighter before slowly fading away.

"_I love you, Cloud._"

He suddenly felt very cold once you left and pulled his knees closer to him. He sat there for a very long time before slowly looking up towards the ceiling. He wouldn't do it; _couldn't_. He won't be able to live without you; no matter how hard you or anyone else told him other wise. He needed your warmth, your smile, your voice…he needed all of you. Slowly, he pulled himself up off the floor and stared off to the side before nodding and turning to face the pool of water behind him.

He would find a way to get to you, no matter what the cost. Though it may cause his friends even further suffering, he just couldn't do this without you any longer. He would have to find a way to explain to everyone before he went through with it, though. He couldn't leave things behind like this.

Cloud gave the church on last look-around before turning on his heel and making his way towards Fenrir. He will return to 7th Heaven for now and use the next couple days to make sure everything was all set for him to leave it all behind.

*~*~*~*~*~

Tifa was…surprised, to say the least, when Cloud came storming into the bar a week ago. She had been serving some customers at the bar when the door had slammed open to reveal the blonde. He didn't say anything, just walked on by and went up the stairs with a scowl fixated onto his face. At first, all she felt was an overwhelming joy at his return. **(Y/N)** had found a way to bring him back to them alive; scowling and silent as ever, but alive.

However, as the days wore on, she began to notice some things about the blonde that troubled her. Though he acted normal, smiling every now and then and playing with the kids, he would always look away as if deep in thought about something. At dinner, he would be silent and everyone so often he would look at someone and watch them, as if contemplating something, before looking back down to his food with a scowl.

And even now…

Tifa looked up from her dish cleaning to see Cloud sitting in a booth, staring out the window, deep in thought. Whenever she asked him what he was thinking about, he would just give her a sad smile before looking away or changing the subject. She set the glass down and scrunched her eyebrows in thought as she looked towards the blonde. He sat there motionless before tilting his head slightly as if to see something further down the street. _Why did it seem like…_ Cloud looked towards Tifa and she looked towards the door as two figures quickly made their way up the short steps.

…_he was trying to say goodbye?_

Reno and Rude burst into the bar, bent over and breathing heavily. She opened her mouth to say something, but Reno held up a finger so she could allow him to catch his breath. After a few moments, the red-head straighten up and quickly strode up to the bar.

"Is everyone still here?"

"Yeah, but why are you-" she began, but Reno turned away and nodded to Rude who pulled out his cell phone and began to dial a number. She raised an eyebrow and placed her hands on her hips. "So, what's this about?" Reno turned back to Tifa and she was surprised to see a slight worry shining in the Turk's eyes.

"Get everyone out here. Rufus needs to talk to all of you guys, like, pronto."

Deciding that it was better to just comply by his wishes, she turned and climbed up the stairs the fetch the rest of the Avalanche members. Once everyone filed downstairs and found themselves a place to sit, Rufus Shinra walked into the bar, closely followed by Tseng and Elena. Rufus recovered quite nicely after his Geostigma was cured, thanks to Aeris's rain. He looked around the room silently before finding himself a chair and sitting down in it.

"So, are you gonna let us know what the hell this is about?" Cid questioned as he leaned back in his chair. Rufus sighed and closed his eyes in thought before a moment before opening them again and looking straight at Cloud.

"Edge is in danger of being attacked again." Cid swore and threw his hands up in the air and Barret looked back towards Rufus.

"Shit, didn't we just do this?"

"Yes, I know," Rufus replied looking exasperated. "However, this is something that we cannot overlook. There is a very large concentration of monsters heading towards the city and I'm afraid that we don't have the time to call in for help…" He looked towards Reeve. "…or build anything quickly enough to create a weapon sufficient enough to destroy them. Even with all of you fighting with what I have, it'd be almost impossible to win."

"Just what are these things?" Tifa asked.

"We're not sure," Tseng said stepping forward. "But what we do know is that they have a resemblance to that of the shadow monsters that Kadaj and the others called forth."

Reeve looked from Tseng to Rufus. "Are you sure there isn't anything that could possibly help our situation?" Reno coughed and began to scratch his chin as the rest of the Turk's faces hardened.

"Yeah, we have one thing," Reno said.

"Okay, great! What is it?" Yuffie asked smiling. Reno didn't answer, but looked towards his boss. Rufus sighed and reached inside his jacket. What he pulled out was about the size of his fist, spherical in shape, and gave off a light green color.

"What is it?" Tifa asked.

"A mako bomb. My team created it with what we had left over from the fight with the remnants," the former CEO explained. "We managed to compress a large amount of mako into this materia enhanced container. If set off, this could destroy all of the monsters in one shot."

"All right, let's do it!" Barret cheered. Rufus shook his head.

"It's not that simple. Due to the fragility of the container, the bomb would have to be carried to the destination to ensure its success. And…" He paused and looked around the group. "The person who does this won't be able to move quickly enough to escape."

Everyone in the room stared at Rufus and the Turks in shock. Vincent finally narrowed his eyes.

"A suicide bomb."

"Yes," Rufus confirmed. Cloud blinked a couple times before biting the inside of his cheek to keep from smiling. This was _it_. This was how he could get to her; this is how he could get to _(Y/N)_! Now all he had to do was figure out a way to get everyone else to agree to it…

Tifa looked over at Cloud and froze when she saw his expression. She studied him for a few more moments before sighing and looking away.

"I'm against it," Red said getting up onto his feet. "We should find a better way to resolve this than to kill somebody here." Everyone but the Turks, Cloud, and Tifa agreed with Red on his statement. Rufus nodded and tucked the bomb back into his jacket.

"I understand. Now, I'll leave you for now, so that you can all think of an alternative way to do this. We'll do the same and come back tomorrow," the blonde stated as he stood up. With that, he bade farewell to the Avalanche team and left the bar with his small group of Turks behind him.

It was rather late when Cloud finally closed his bedroom door behind him. Everyone had been in the bar trying to think of a way to fight these monsters without having to use that bomb, but so far they've come up empty handed. However, Cloud himself said nothing through the entire discussion. Neither did Tifa for that matter, but he didn't really notice. His only problem was breaking it to everyone that he was going to use the bomb anyways. How can you explain his reasoning to them? '_Oh, hey, I wanna kill myself to go see (Y/N) and save the town at the same time!_' doesn't really seem to cut it.

Cloud sighed and sat down on the edge of his bed and pinched the bridge of his nose. Well, whatever the case, he had to think of something fast before they thought of something else. He let go of his nose and stared at his door in hopes of being hit with some sort of inspiration. However, instead of inspiration, Cloud heard the sound of footsteps making their way down the hall. He stood up and opened his door. Looking out, he saw someone turn down the hallway and quickly disappear into the room at the end. **(Y/N)**'s room.

He stepped out into the hallway and closed his door before heading towards the room. When he stopped in the doorway, he was surprised to see Tifa standing at the window with her back to him. They stood there in silence for several long minutes before Cloud stepped into the room.

"Tifa?"

"I think…" she started refusing to turn and face him. "I think that if Vincent stayed here with Yuffie, then we should be able to manage the town by ourselves." Silence fell over the both of them as Cloud tried to comprehend her words. Tifa clenched her fists and shut her eyes to fight back the tears. She finally knew what he was thinking about. She realized it when Rufus showed them the bomb earlier. For the briefest moment, he looked…so happy; as if this had been something that he'd been looking for after searching for so long.

"Tifa…I…"

She turned and smiled, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. "It's all right. Everyone will understand." Cloud searched her face for a few moments before smiling sadly and nodding. Tifa wiped away a tear that managed to escape as she stepped forward. "Say hi to everyone for me." Cloud smiled at her before pulling her into a tight hug.

"I will…thank you."

*~*~*~*~*~

"Here"

Cloud reached out and carefully took the bomb from Rufus's outstretched hand. He studied it for a few moments before carefully tucking it away into the special pouch Tifa had given him earlier that morning. He turned halfway to look at his friends behind him at the very outskirts of Edge. He and Tifa explained everything to them before calling Rufus and telling him of their decision. At first, they were all very confused and upset. They couldn't understand why he would want to do this. However, Red quickly understood, as Tifa had done, and quietly explained for Cloud. Though they were still upset with him, they didn't disagree with his wish.

He frowned slightly as he saw Tifa looking away from him, trying to hide her tears. He opened his mouth to speak, but Rufus caught his attention by clearing his throat.

"To activate the bomb, just crack any part of it. For you that shouldn't prove to be difficult in the least. Remember to get as far in as possible before doing so," Rufus explained to the other blonde. He furrowed his brows as Cloud nodded in understanding. "Are you sure you want to do this, Cloud?"

Cloud smiled and nodded. "Yeah." He turned and faced his friends again, looking at each of them in turn. When he stopped on Tifa and the kids, he waited until the fighter looked up. "Look after everyone and try not to dilly dally." Tifa found she couldn't keep from smiling. Yuffie jumped forward and pointed at him, a grin making its way onto her face.

"Now get out of here, you freak! And make sure to smack her for me!"

Cloud let out a chuckle before nodding to the young ninja and smiling to the rest of his friends. Then, without wasting anymore time, he climbed onto Fenrir and sped off into the desert. As they watched him fade away, Reno let out a whistle. Elena looked over at him.

"What?" she asked the red-head. Reno shrugged and crossed his arms.

"I just feel pretty bad for him, you know?"

"Reno, he's driving off to save the town by killing himself. Even _you_ would feel a little bad for him," Elena commented as she continued to watch the bike shrink. Reno blinked and shook his head.

"I'm not talking about that! I think what he's doing is pretty cool, but I was talking about after that."

"So, what do you mean, then?" Reeve asked raising an eyebrow. Reno grinned and turned to the group behind him.

"Dude, he is going to get the ass kicking of his _life_." And despite the situation, everyone grinned; knowing with out a doubt that he was right.

Cloud wove through the rocks of the desert, staying alert for any signs of the monsters. It didn't take that long, actually. He smirked as he estimated their numbers around maybe a couple thousand. They were all running forward, screeching and wailing as they caught sight of him. Pulling out of his buster sword, Cloud sped forward to meet them.

He broke through the wall of monsters and forced his way through the giant mob, hacking away at anything that moved as he went. He grimaced as he felt multiple cuts and small gashes appear on his arms, but continued on. After fighting his way through for several long minutes, he swore as one of the monsters sliced through the metal of the bike and into the fuel tank. He gripped his sword tightly before jumping off the bike. It continued on for a couple more seconds before exploding in the sea of monsters. Cloud jumped up onto his feet and held his sword ready, only to find that he was in the center of a large circle. The monsters screeched and pawed at the ground in anticipation.

Cloud shrugged and reached into the pouch to pull out the bomb. He was in far enough, right? He looked up as all the monsters sprang up to pounce on him. Oh well, guess it didn't matter now. With that in mind, the blonde smirked before crouching down and slamming the container on the ground. There was a loud cracking sound and everything seemed to freeze before Cloud's vision exploded into white.

"Damn…" Reno mumbled as he leaned his head to look out the helicopter window. "I gotta hand it to Cloud; he sure knows how to go out with a bang." Rude sighed and shook his head at his friend.

"Just take us down, Reno."

"Yeah, yeah." Reno cut to the right and proceeded to search the ground for a suitable landing spot. Below the chopper, the ground below looked very different than it did several hours ago when Cloud first left. The desert was now sporting a new crater almost a mile and a half wide and about thirty feet deep. Almost nothing but sand and rock remained at the sight where thousand of monsters were only a short while ago. Reno finally found a decent spot and slowly let the craft land.

The two Turks climbed out of the helicopter and looked around in amazement. Reno turned to Rude and grinned.

"Not a single thing left. You sure know how to make 'em, Rude," he commented. Rude smirked and stepped forward into the crater.

"I knew you'd like it."

"Like it? Hell, that was the shit, yo!" Reno exclaimed flailing his arms in excitement. Once he calmed down, Reno looked around the crater. "What are we doing again?"

Rude kicked over a rock and turned to Reno. "Looking." Reno nodded in understanding before waltzing off in a random direction. After hours of searching, Reno turned back to his partner and cupped his hands to his mouth.

"Rude! I don't think there's anything left to look for!" he yelled.

"What?" Rude called back. Reno started jogging forward so that Rude could hear him.

"I said-"

Rude raised an eyebrow as Reno tripped over some unseen object in the sand, effectively cutting off his yelling. He walked over casually to find his partner sitting up and spitting out a mouthful of sand.

"Shall I have Tseng change your name to Grace?"

"Shut up! What the hell did I trip on?" Reno turned around and felt around in the sand until he hit something cool and hard. Curious, the red-head began to dig and brushed the sand aside. When the object was uncovered, he grinned and looked back at Rude.

"Check it out…" he said turning back to the object. Carefully, he reached down and picked it up with both hands. "Man, she's gonna love this."

*~*~*~*~*~

Cloud blinked as he slowly opened his eyes, letting himself adjust to the light. Once he could see, he realized that he was lying in the shade of a tree behind him. Grunting, he carefully pulled himself up so that he was sitting straight. He looked around and took in the sights around him. He was sitting in a grassy field with some trees strewn here and there. Farther on, he could see a small square of flowers growing in the sun. There was a river a couple hundred yards to his left and ran farther than he could see. He turned around too see the tree that he was sitting beside and a forest a couple yards behind it. When he turned back around, he stared up at the figure in front of him.

"Z-Zack!" he cried stumbling onto his feet. The older male stared at Cloud with a look that the blonde could decipher. "Zack?" Zack clenched his fists and looked away from his friend. When he looked back, Cloud only had time to blink before a fist connected with his cheek. He landed on his back and lay there dazed for a couple seconds before sitting back up and holding his cheek.

"Why?" demanded the brunette, anger flaring up in his eyes. When Cloud didn't answer, he repeated the question. Cloud sighed and got up onto his feet.

"I did what I had to."

"Bull shit!" Zack raised his fist to punch him again and Cloud waited for the blow. When Zack just stood there like that for several seconds, the younger reached forward to grab hold of his friend's hand. Cloud's eyes widened when he was suddenly pulled into a bone crushing hug.

"Zack?"

"It wasn't supposed to be like this…" Cloud blinked and stared at the side of Zack's head. Zack pulled back and smiled at Cloud sadly, looking as if almost on the brink of tears. "You were supposed to live for the both of us."

Cloud looked down sadly. "Easy to make that promise." Zack let out a huff and brought the blonde back into the embrace. Cloud smiled and returned the gesture. The two of them stood there for a few minutes before Zack pulled back and smiled.

"Would it seem a little sick if I said that I was a little happy you're here?" Cloud laughed and clapped his friend on the neck.

"Nah."

"You're still not off the hook, by the way." Cloud sighed and looked off to the side; though, he was smiling as he did so. Zack ruffled the blonde's spikes before turning and walking a little out into the field. When Cloud didn't follow, he turned and gestured for him to do so.

"Come on. Aeris and the guys are holding **(Y/N)** down. None of them are happy with you, so prepare for the ass beating of your newly dead life," Zack warned. Cloud nodded and the two of them began walking.

It didn't take them long to reach their destination, but as they came forward, Cloud was surprised to see Kadaj and Yazoo standing with Aeris. He looked over at Zack, who just shrugged and smiled. The three previously mentioned heard their approach and turned. Cloud stopped when he saw the ferocity of their glares. Zack jumped out of the way as Aeris stormed up and slapped the blonde hard across the face. He felt horrible when he saw tears streaming down her face and went to say something when Kadaj gave him a swift punch to the gut.

"Hit him again for me Kadaj!" Cloud looked back to see Loz holding your body to the ground with your face in the grass. Kadaj nodded to his brother before punching the blonde on the jaw. Cloud looked over at Yazoo wearily and was only slightly relieved when the male just continued to glare and crossed his arms. Cloud sighed and looked back to Loz.

"Loz, let her go," Cloud said walking towards the two of you. Loz carefully stood up while still holding you down before jumping back and releasing his hold.

You sprang forward and swung your hand across his face as hard as you could possibly could. His head jerked from the shock, but quickly looked back to your face. Tears streamed down your cheeks as you stood there panting heavily.

"**(Y/N)**…"

You shook your head and slapped him again. You reared back again, but when you went to hit him he grabbed your wrist. You raised your other hand, but he grabbed that as well.

"Let go!"

"No."

"I hate you!" you cried slamming your head onto his chest. You stayed like that for several seconds, just letting your tears seep into his shirt. Silently, Zack motioned for everyone to leave the two of you alone. Cloud gave Zack a grateful look before they left and Zack returned the look with a salute. Once they were gone, Cloud looked down at the top of your head.

"**(Y/N)**, look at me," he said quietly. You shook your head as the tears continued to flow. "Look at me." After a few seconds of silence, you raised your head to look at his face.

"It's all right," he said smiling down at you. You shook your head.

"You were supposed to live, Cloud! I didn't want you to die!" you cried. Cloud continued to smile.

"Did you really think I would be able to live without you for the rest of my life?" he asked as he let go of your left wrist to cup your cheek. You stared up at his smiling face and slowly felt your anger ebb away. You hiccupped once before giving up and burying your face into his neck. He let go of your other wrist and you instantly wrapped your arms around him. He smiled again and wound his arms around you, holding your body against his tightly.

"It's all right," he said quietly as he leaned his head against yours. "I'm here." You smiled and held him tighter.

"I love you," you whispered to him. He smiled and pulled you back so he could look into your eyes.

"I love you," he replied smiling. Your smile widened and soon your tears of sadness were replaced with those of joy. He chuckled and gently brushed your tears away. You closed your eyes and leaned into the touch. When you opened them again, Cloud reached up to cup your other cheek with his left hand before leaning in to kiss you. You smiled into it and laid your hands to rest over his as you responded.

You pulled back and opened your eyes to meet with shining blue ones. You giggled as you leaned your forehead to rest against his. He let out a little chuckle himself before leaning forward to capture your lips once again.

*~*~*~*~*~

The large buster sword was slammed into the ground and Tifa stood back to admire her work. Cloud's buster sword seemed to fit in surprisingly well with **(Y/N)** and Zack's weapons on the cliff before Edge. She smiled as she dusted her hands off on her shorts and looked up towards the sky.

She'd have to thank Reno and Rude again for finding it, though they claimed it was pure luck. She didn't care. Either way, she now had a piece everyone she loved. And though she knew that they weren't coming back, she felt happy in knowing that they were better off with Aeris and Zack. She smiled again and looked at the weapons before her.

"I'll see you guys soon," she said out loud.

'_Yeah…_'

Tifa turned around and smiled at what she saw. You smiled at her along with Cloud as the two of you stood there hand in hand. She walked up to the two of you and held up her pinkies.

"It's a promise!"

You and Cloud both smiled again and gently hooked your pinkies with hers. She smiled at her deed before stepping back and giving a little wave. You returned the gesture and she watched as you slowly disappeared from her sight. She smiled once again before turning and making her way back to the city.

You smiled at Cloud as you plopped down on the grass beside his feet. He sat down as well and pulled you to him.

"She'll be all right," you said smiling happily. Cloud nodded in agreement and rested his chin on your shoulder. The two of you sat in the sunshine together and you leaned back into his touch.

"Hey, Cloud?"

"Hm?"

"I love you."

Cloud smiled. He didn't care if the two of you have said that more than can be counted so far, but he never grew tired of hearing it. You could say it every minute and he wouldn't care. Just hearing you say it to him, made them the sweetest words he'd ever hear. He smiled and placed a kiss on your neck.

"Love you more."

"Sure you do."

Cloud raised an eyebrow before grinning and rolling you around onto the ground. You giggled and crossed your arms over your chest as he leaned on his elbows for support. You stuck your tongue out at him. He smirked and raised his eyebrow again, causing you to pull the appendage back into your mouth. He smiled and brushed a few stands of hair out of your face before leaning to place a kiss on your lips.

It didn't matter who loved who more, not here anyways. Here, he had you all to himself and he was happy for that, because you were only his.

He pulled back and smiled up at him. He chuckled before resting his forehead against yours.

Only his.

~Owari~

So I think I majorly killed the end. I should have ended it when they kissed at the lifestream reunion XD Anyways, again, sorry for the wait! Please review! I like to hear any opinions and any creative critisism you might have!


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